Webbings

And I thought whacking kids with an inflatable hammer was cool, I've found my latest craze, to find people to invite me to there Webbings! Did I say Wedding? No sir! I said Webbing, there is a really huge difference between the 2, about the same size that spans two iron atoms in a solid beam at 273 degrees Kelvin. I first discovered my error when I was invited to what I first thought was a wedding, but upon closer look at the invitation I was shocked to find THIS:



I had no way to interpret what was going on jumping quickly to irrational and illogic conclusions. Such as, thinking Spiderman would be the best man and as a prank would web the groom just before they tied the knot. Or perhaps it wasn't a ceremony at all, but a sacred ritual involving thousands of spiders and people getting webbed. (I wanted to turn and run away as far away from the webbing as possible. Maybe Chinese webbings are dreadful meetings in the night where victims are suffocated and asphyxiated though the WEB! Dun dun duuuuuuhhhh. *SCREEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMM*

Or perhaps they have a more accurate view of a 'wedding' but rather call it webbing, because one person is the victim and the other is the predator ready to suck the money and stuff out of the victim until they divorce (or one kills the other) at which point another webbing may occur.

To my most utmost disappointment it was neither of the above, but an ceremony that involved lots of food and people and about 30 minutes, at which point most people systematically left, resembling the mob hawk rush that is found at most places of business in north American between the hours of 5:00 pm and 5:30 pm.

So that's it, what I thought would be a profound insight to the inner workings of a people through thousands of years and countless webbings was just a mere custom that resembled the small span of time just before the rush hour traffic.