Part 1 - Answers for Premarital Counseling questions -
1. What are your expectations for premarital counseling?
a) To break up the engagement realizing that we were not meant for each other because of issues brought up such as ‘I caught my wife stealing my socks from the laundry hamper’ there by perpetuating the myth that washing machines use socks for fuel -
b) Failing option a) converting to a Radical form of Pastafarianism which involves being neurotically suspicious of anything that is not adorned with Pasta, clothing must be embroidered with a Primary school pasta art project that has been approved by the Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Council of the Estonian Resident Pasta Clerics Association.
2. What would you like to see accomplished during premarital counseling?
In spite of all the commitment and love that we show one another never to leave that we will agree to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. In which case – I would lose everything if we were to divorce.
3. If you were to describe your fiancé what would you say?
The most non loving person in the world would have their heart melt with her presence.
Hate, deceit, recklessness, and negligence are incapable of being even though up in her mind.
A plane crash worth of mourning parents, children and loved ones would be but a scratch of the sorrow I would feel if she left – eg. She is very important.
4. Describe your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Full of hot steamy non-sexual passion.
5. If you had one passage from God’s Word that you would like your fiancé to incorporate into his/her life, what would it be?
Deuteronomy 25:11 – Never ever grab another man’s privates to give me an advantage in a fight. I’ll do the grabbing, you give him a swift kick to the head.
6. Describe your courtship – length, type. In what way will your courtship contribute to your marriage? Is there anything from your courtship that you would like to change after you’re married?
Length: Have you read the book War and Peace? I haven’t but I bet our courtship lasted the same amount of time as the fictional passage of time in the first 3 chapters.
Type: Heterosexual, which to this day I continue to question since my first menstruation 6 months ago.
Contribution: There were lawyers, lots of them, busy writing memo’s and stenciling blueprints of several undiscovered rectangular shapes for sandboxes – It was one litigation after another, eventually our case ran all the way up to the supreme court, where a football player judge and an alcoholic ex-brothel employee both agreed that courtship should not be settled in the court but rather in less stressful situations.
Changes: Cans will be crushed and not stacked into giant pyramids outside of our house to avoid anti-socials, brigands, and other ruthless wilders from ruining a otherwise perfect summer can stacking afternoon.
(to be continued)
a) To break up the engagement realizing that we were not meant for each other because of issues brought up such as ‘I caught my wife stealing my socks from the laundry hamper’ there by perpetuating the myth that washing machines use socks for fuel -
b) Failing option a) converting to a Radical form of Pastafarianism which involves being neurotically suspicious of anything that is not adorned with Pasta, clothing must be embroidered with a Primary school pasta art project that has been approved by the Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Council of the Estonian Resident Pasta Clerics Association.
2. What would you like to see accomplished during premarital counseling?
In spite of all the commitment and love that we show one another never to leave that we will agree to sign a pre-nuptial agreement. In which case – I would lose everything if we were to divorce.
3. If you were to describe your fiancé what would you say?
The most non loving person in the world would have their heart melt with her presence.
Hate, deceit, recklessness, and negligence are incapable of being even though up in her mind.
A plane crash worth of mourning parents, children and loved ones would be but a scratch of the sorrow I would feel if she left – eg. She is very important.
4. Describe your personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Full of hot steamy non-sexual passion.
5. If you had one passage from God’s Word that you would like your fiancé to incorporate into his/her life, what would it be?
Deuteronomy 25:11 – Never ever grab another man’s privates to give me an advantage in a fight. I’ll do the grabbing, you give him a swift kick to the head.
6. Describe your courtship – length, type. In what way will your courtship contribute to your marriage? Is there anything from your courtship that you would like to change after you’re married?
Length: Have you read the book War and Peace? I haven’t but I bet our courtship lasted the same amount of time as the fictional passage of time in the first 3 chapters.
Type: Heterosexual, which to this day I continue to question since my first menstruation 6 months ago.
Contribution: There were lawyers, lots of them, busy writing memo’s and stenciling blueprints of several undiscovered rectangular shapes for sandboxes – It was one litigation after another, eventually our case ran all the way up to the supreme court, where a football player judge and an alcoholic ex-brothel employee both agreed that courtship should not be settled in the court but rather in less stressful situations.
Changes: Cans will be crushed and not stacked into giant pyramids outside of our house to avoid anti-socials, brigands, and other ruthless wilders from ruining a otherwise perfect summer can stacking afternoon.
(to be continued)
posted by Chris at 7:13 PM
1 Comments:
hmm...you sound like you're in desperate need of sleep and the sinus meds i'm sending you!!! :P
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