Flurry of broomstick devil children miscreants!
Think of the most disgusting thing you've ever swept with a broom... you know, nail clippings, crusty dried food that should have been mopped, and that slice of pepperoni that happened to slip off the top of your pizza cause they didn't add enough cheese last Tuesday. Now i know what your going to say, they don't have pizza in China, true, they have instant dry noodles.
Each classroom has its own set of brooms, used everyday, to sweep anything and everything that is possible for them to pick up. The bottoms of the brooms are usually some flavor of black licorice.
I just happen to walk by the primary school one day(about 4 classrooms grade 1 to grade 4) cause I like to visit the young ones, I can be very friendly and no one will say a word. I would be classified as a suspect pedophile back in North America. Yeah that's smart tell everyone one on your blog that you a suspect pedophile. Just to be clear No, I am not. That would be bad, worse then eating that slice of pepperoni off the floor.
What do the students do when they see me? Riot! Swarm! Kick! Stare! I get swarmed like a dumbfounded quarterback receiving the football while gazing at the cheerleaders. Which is cool. Its cool to be swarmed. Makes you feel important. Then one little stinker pulls out a broom, and tap tap tap... What's that hitting the side of my head? Turning and looking I see the swarm laughing as one of them had the clever idea to take a broom and start shoving it in my face. So I take it from him, its over right? Nope... cause all of the sudden the classroom is full of flailing brooms, these aren't kids anymore but orcs. One by one I beat and usurp the brooms from the kiddies until my hands are full. I've got 5 freaken brooms here... how the heck is it possible they still have more??? Well so be it another 4 brooms appear out of nowhere and start flailing in my face, defeated, with an exit that is blocked by the flesh of hyperactive 8 year olds I squeeze my way through the defense tickling, pushing, and carrying anyone in my path.
So why didn't I yell "Don't make me force you eat that broom"? Well that's cause my chinese still isn't at dat kind of a level. Now, I can sympathize with those of you who'd been broom beaten for no good reason that seemed to be good. But don't you worry, a storm is coming boys and girl and you don't want to be their when it hits. No more Mr. suck up to the foreigner children, no more stealing my lunch money. You guys are toast, that's been burnt! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
Each classroom has its own set of brooms, used everyday, to sweep anything and everything that is possible for them to pick up. The bottoms of the brooms are usually some flavor of black licorice.
I just happen to walk by the primary school one day(about 4 classrooms grade 1 to grade 4) cause I like to visit the young ones, I can be very friendly and no one will say a word. I would be classified as a suspect pedophile back in North America. Yeah that's smart tell everyone one on your blog that you a suspect pedophile. Just to be clear No, I am not. That would be bad, worse then eating that slice of pepperoni off the floor.
What do the students do when they see me? Riot! Swarm! Kick! Stare! I get swarmed like a dumbfounded quarterback receiving the football while gazing at the cheerleaders. Which is cool. Its cool to be swarmed. Makes you feel important. Then one little stinker pulls out a broom, and tap tap tap... What's that hitting the side of my head? Turning and looking I see the swarm laughing as one of them had the clever idea to take a broom and start shoving it in my face. So I take it from him, its over right? Nope... cause all of the sudden the classroom is full of flailing brooms, these aren't kids anymore but orcs. One by one I beat and usurp the brooms from the kiddies until my hands are full. I've got 5 freaken brooms here... how the heck is it possible they still have more??? Well so be it another 4 brooms appear out of nowhere and start flailing in my face, defeated, with an exit that is blocked by the flesh of hyperactive 8 year olds I squeeze my way through the defense tickling, pushing, and carrying anyone in my path.
So why didn't I yell "Don't make me force you eat that broom"? Well that's cause my chinese still isn't at dat kind of a level. Now, I can sympathize with those of you who'd been broom beaten for no good reason that seemed to be good. But don't you worry, a storm is coming boys and girl and you don't want to be their when it hits. No more Mr. suck up to the foreigner children, no more stealing my lunch money. You guys are toast, that's been burnt! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!
posted by Chris at 7:06 PM
1 Comments:
oh, you crack me up chris. :) your stories are so detailed and oddball sometimes that i really wonder whether you experience these things or if they're just stories/dreams you've had... :P hahaha. hope you're doing well!
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